Week 5 Story: Dear Brother
Dear Brother,
If you are finding this letter it is because something went wrong during our last visit to the king's treasure chamber. After the first time we snuck into the chamber unnoticed I started wondering what would happen when the king realized that someone was stealing from him. Guards, traps, undercover spies, a bounty for our heads, it all came flashing through my mind. Since then I have hidden this letter every time we left to steal from the chamber so that if I were ever captured you would have something of mine, to remember me by, and to ease your guilt from what I know you will have to do.
Brother, do not feel that you are responsible for my passing, even if it did happen by your hand. Please know that I do not hold you responsible or resent you for having to take my life, I gladly would give my life a thousand times if it meant that you could continue to live yours, dear brother. I know that this was a difficult decision for you to make, I know that it must have killed you inside to see me die and carry my head with you, but know that it was the only way for you to survive.
Please do not lose yourself in guilt and grief, live your life brother, live it as you know I would if I were still with you. Take care of our dear and fragile mother, let her know that I went in peace, that I did this for her as well. I love you both more than life itself, I will be watching over you from the Duat, in lord Osiris' realm, next to our dear father, and together we will wait for you to come and join us one day.
Thank you for making my life so happy, until the very end of my days. I love you both.
Goodbye.
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| Papyrus in Wikimedia Commons |
Story source: Egyptian Myth and Legend by Donald Mackenzie (1907).
Author's Note: This letter is based on The Tale of King Rhampsinitus, who was a very wealthy king of ancient Egypt. He built a chamber to store all of his treasures, but one of the builders left a loose stone so that he could access the chamber from the outside. When the builder was about to die he left this information to his children, two boys, who then routinely robbed the chamber. The king realized this placed traps to catch the criminals, and one of the boys was caught by a net. The boy that was caught knew that if his brother stayed they would both be found, and if he left he would still be found because they would know it was his brother. He, therefore, begged his brother to decapitate him and take the head away so that he could not be identified and associated with their family. I wrote my story as a letter from the boy that was caught to his brother letting him know that he had already foreseen his death at the hands of his brothers as a possibility and that he was at peace with it. I thought it was a nice way to provide comfort to the remaining boy that had to go through the trauma of beheading his own brother.
Hi Antonieta!
ResponderEliminarI loved your take on this. I didn't read the story so I wasn't sure what was going on at first, but after reading your author's note I immediately thought it was so clever. It was very sad, of course, but in a good way. I could really feel the emotion in the letter, and I appreciated that. I was wondering, how did you come up with the idea to write the letter?
Hi Jana! Thank you so much for your comment. Honestly, the idea for the letter came very naturally after I finished reading the story, it just made me think about what I would do if I were in this situation. I have a younger brother, so the idea came from wanting him to not feel guilty and comfort him if this had been us.
EliminarHi Antonieta!
ResponderEliminarThis story reminds me of something I would write to my brother, because we generally get stupid when we are together. I felt emotionally connected to this piece. I would rather have my brother live my life if i can't. He's given everything for me. This story broke my heart because it got me thinking about what life would be like for my family if I were to die. Thank you for this letter. It's amazing. I really appreciate the different approach to the story.
Hey Antonieta!
ResponderEliminarI absolutely love the overall formatting of this story, and I love how it is written as a letter. It is such an easy read, yet so captivating. I really appreciate your connection to the source material, and how you so easily rewrote your own version. This story was so deeply emotional and heart-wrenching, but I could not stop reading. I was wondering, other than the source material that you had to work with, if you had a strong brotherly connection? Or if what you wrote about was directly inspired from the original story? Overall I adored the story, and my only advice is that you please expand this! It was such a quick and simple read, which is fine by me, but there is so much room to further the emotional impact in your writing. I would love to read an expanded version of this story! :)
Best wishes,
Mikayla
Hi Mikayla! I do have a younger brother, we are not super close and we tend to get on each other's nerves, but he is still be little bro whom I love very much. The letter was based on the story but the idea stemmed from me wanting to comfort my brother if it had been us in this situation.
EliminarHi Anto!
ResponderEliminarI was popping in to thank you for your interest and feedback in my storybook! Your feedback was really helpful and was somewhat similar to comments I received from Laura. This was a pretty rough draft now after I go back and see everyone's comments. I'm thankful we have the opportunity to revise because you always feel like your first draft is perfect until you have time to go back and really think on it. I encourage you to stop back by later this week once I complete the revision and see if any of your concerns were remedied.
I thought this story was a great perspective to take! I also read the Ancient Egyptian stories so I was very familiar with the original story. This gives the story a sense of love and ease as the brother could see this coming and forgive his brother. Great job at thinking of taking on this story perspective!
Hi Anto,
ResponderEliminarWOW! This is awesome. I love how you decided to tell this story in the form of a letter. It shows how much the brother cared that he was willing to give up his life so that the other brother could live and escape safely. This is a good portrayal of sibling love and the extent that siblings will go to for each other. I have a younger brother and I know that I would do anything for him.